A topic I had no intention of writing about today is now going to be written. Today just happens to be the anniversary of my father's death. Every year, it is hard to believe how long it has actually been. Life keeps moving and you forget that fact. Time doesn't stand still yet the memories do.
But, why I decided to write about this topic is because on my way back from the store to buy sunscreen, I saw a funeral procession. As, I passed I had a tank top and shorts on with my iPod blaring to a upbeat dance song about how life is just fine the way it is and to love the life you have. The procession was quite long and most people were serious and wearing dark colors. I felt bad walking by with bright colors on and an upbeat dance song blaring from my ears but on the other hand I didn't. I did say a prayer for the person who died as I continued walking home.
I feel life is a celebration and that a funeral should be a happy time for everyone. Death is a part of life and a part I don't want to experience any time soon! But, what that person did for as long as they did live is something to remember and celebrate. I am fully in support of there being a dance party when the time comes. It represents my vibrant and exciting life full of dance and music.
In America, funerals are a sad time. I have had my fair share of funerals so I think I can present the scene accurately. At the visitation, there is either the open or closed casket in one area and pictures of the deceased in another area. It is a nice way to remember a person but I feel there needs to be more. The room is quiet and everyone whispers. There are tears and people who constantly say "I'm sorry." What is there to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault the person died. I think there needs to be a new saying like "What a great life they had!" After the visitation, comes the funeral at the church. The church part is like a regular mass for the most part. After mass, the immediate family usually goes to the cemetery for the burial. On the way to the cemetery there is a procession of cars following the car with the casket and most times there are flags that the people put on their car so people know they are in the procession. Now this is important for the rest of the blog. The burial. In America, there are two options. The mausoleum where the casket is placed above ground in a little building or the ground. In the ground though there is a cement box laid into the ground. Then the casket goes inside the cement box and is covered. After the burial ceremony, the family stays together. At least in my family, we either go out to eat afterwards and have a drink in honor of the person who died, go out for ice cream or return to the house to talk and reminisce. For my father's funeral, I remember there being food at the hall but I recall there being some balloons. Not sure why there would have been balloons but I do remember that. I like the idea of balloons though! They are fun and represent a party.
In Italy, funerals are sad as well. I have never attended a funeral in Italy so I don't know the normal procedures. But, I did see a house where someone passed away and people were coming and going giving their condolences and everyone was wearing black. They also post the obituaries throughout the city on big pieces of paper not in the newspaper like in the USA. Today, the procession was interesting. I have no idea where they were going because they were going the wrong way for either the church or the cemetery. But, the car carrying the casket was driving slow and the people were walking behind it. There was a lot of traffic since the car was going down the main road of the city. I have visited cemeteries in Italy though and they are more like our mausoleums in America. The caskets go above ground in marble buildings. There are usually a lot of slots and the body goes in a slot. I'm not sure whether it is just the body or the casket as well that goes into the slots. I think the casket goes in as well.
In Turkey, funerals are a dramatic scene. Yes, the people are sad but they feel that they have to create a dramatic scene in order for society to believe that they are in fact sad about a death. I'd rather cry and dance the night away then scream for hours. When I was in Turkey, I didn't attend a funeral but I did see somethings. A neighbor passed away one day in my apartment complex. I was looking out the kitchen window and I saw a truck like a delivery truck outside in the parking lot. I didn't know what it was then they told me it was the truck that takes the dead bodies from the homes. Outside there were a lot of people but all men. Where were the women? To this day I have no idea. But the men gathered around the truck and talked. As the truck left the cars left too, but I still never saw the women! That was just one experience though, I am sure those of you in Turkey who read this can give a better description of a Turkish funeral. I was told though that at the cemetery there is no casket. They dig a hole in the ground and drop the body in. Something I would not like. The idea of bugs freaks me out. :)
Anyways, such a lovely post for this beautiful and sunny day on the last day of April. But, again I believe funerals should be a celebration just like every other day of our life. Ogni giorno รจ una festa! (Every day is a celebration/party) Enjoy Life!
