Cultures and Death

A topic I had no intention of writing about today is now going to be written. Today just happens to be the anniversary of my father's death. Every year, it is hard to believe how long it has actually been. Life keeps moving and you forget that fact. Time doesn't stand still yet the memories do.

But, why I decided to write about this topic is because on my way back from the store to buy sunscreen, I saw a funeral procession. As, I passed I had a tank top and shorts on with my iPod blaring to a upbeat dance song about how life is just fine the way it is and to love the life you have. The procession was quite long and most people were serious and wearing dark colors. I felt bad walking by with bright colors on and an upbeat dance song blaring from my ears but on the other hand I didn't. I did say a prayer for the person who died as I continued walking home.

I feel life is a celebration and that a funeral should be a happy time for everyone. Death is a part of life and a part I don't want to experience any time soon! But, what that person did for as long as they did live is something to remember and celebrate. I am fully in support of there being a dance party when the time comes. It represents my vibrant and exciting life full of dance and music.

In America, funerals are a sad time. I have had my fair share of funerals so I think I can present the scene accurately. At the visitation, there is either the open or closed casket in one area and pictures of the deceased in another area. It is a nice way to remember a person but I feel there needs to be more. The room is quiet and everyone whispers. There are tears and people who constantly say "I'm sorry." What is there to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault the person died. I think there needs to be a new saying like "What a great life they had!" After the visitation, comes the funeral at the church. The church part is like a regular mass for the most part. After mass, the immediate family usually goes to the cemetery for the burial. On the way to the cemetery there is a procession of cars following the car with the casket and most times there are flags that the people put on their car so people know they are in the procession. Now this is important for the rest of the blog. The burial. In America, there are two options. The mausoleum where the casket is placed above ground in a little building or the ground. In the ground though there is a cement box laid into the ground. Then the casket goes inside the cement box and is covered. After the burial ceremony, the family stays together. At least in my family, we either go out to eat afterwards and have a drink in honor of the person who died, go out for ice cream or return to the house to talk and reminisce. For my father's funeral, I remember there being food at the hall but I recall there being some balloons. Not sure why there would have been balloons but I do remember that. I like the idea of balloons though! They are fun and represent a party.

In Italy, funerals are sad as well. I have never attended a funeral in Italy so I don't know the normal procedures. But, I did see a house where someone passed away and people were coming and going giving their condolences and everyone was wearing black. They also post the obituaries throughout the city on big pieces of paper not in the newspaper like in the USA. Today, the procession was interesting. I have no idea where they were going because they were going the wrong way for either the church or the cemetery. But, the car carrying the casket was driving slow and the people were walking behind it. There was a lot of traffic since the car was going down the main road of the city. I have visited cemeteries in Italy though and they are more like our mausoleums in America. The caskets go above ground in marble buildings. There are usually a lot of slots and the body goes in a slot. I'm not sure whether it is just the body or the casket as well that goes into the slots. I think the casket goes in as well.

In Turkey, funerals are a dramatic scene. Yes, the people are sad but they feel that they have to create a dramatic scene in order for society to believe that they are in fact sad about a death. I'd rather cry and dance the night away then scream for hours. When I was in Turkey, I didn't attend a funeral but I did see somethings. A neighbor passed away one day in my apartment complex. I was looking out the kitchen window and I saw a truck like a delivery truck outside in the parking lot. I didn't know what it was then they told me it was the truck that takes the dead bodies from the homes. Outside there were a lot of people but all men. Where were the women? To this day I have no idea. But the men gathered around the truck and talked. As the truck left the cars left too, but I still never saw the women! That was just one experience though, I am sure those of you in Turkey who read this can give a better description of a Turkish funeral. I was told though that at the cemetery there is no casket. They dig a hole in the ground and drop the body in. Something I would not like. The idea of bugs freaks me out. :)

Anyways, such a lovely post for this beautiful and sunny day on the last day of April. But, again I believe funerals should be a celebration just like every other day of our life. Ogni giorno è una festa! (Every day is a celebration/party) Enjoy Life!

A trip to the market

Today, I went to the market with Imma. We went to a large market located somewhere in Naples. I have no idea where though. We walked through the gates of the market and Imma told me the game plan. We were to start at one row and then go up and down through all of them. But, there were a lot of rows and sure enough we did go through it all! : ) We started down one row and looked at some dresses. Immediately, I heard someone screaming but he wasn't screaming he was talking very loud trying to get people's attention to come to his booth. This particular guy was informing the public that all the dresses were only ten euro, that it is the best stuff China has to offer and "please, no pickpocketing, thank you." :)
Almost every stand had a guy screaming/talking really loud advertising. It would catch you off guard if you weren't paying attention. A few of the guys reminded me of the auction guys who keep track of the price, it was really fast paced speaking!

We went to a few booths and I found a pair of shoes I liked/needed. I tried them on, they fit, I bought them. I shop fast what can I say. Imma on the other hand didn't find her pair of shoes until the last row of the market. She confessed to me that she wished she was able to shop like I do and make a quick decision.

We continued to walk and as we walked passed each booth I saw the new fashion appearing everywhere. The new fashion in Italy is the American/UK flag. It is everywhere! It is on shoes, scarves, t-shirts, dresses, earrings, pants, etc. I can't get away from it! No, I'm not saying I don't like it, I just find it funny that the American flag is so popular here. I keep telling myself that I think I need to make a few purchases of the americana apparel and wear it for the 4th of July. The tags will say "Made in Italy" but the shirt will have a picture of the American flag....oh well! ;)



As we walked through the booths, it was common to bump into people since it was very crowded.
Naturally and instinctively, I said "I'm sorry" in Italian. I realized though that no one else said anything. I was the only one speaking about the issue. I told myself that this is the norm and not to apologize every second.

We also went to a beach apparel and accessories booth. Immediately both Imma and I started trying on hats. We ended up both getting one. Now we need to go to the beach so we can wear our hats together for the second time, since we wore them in the car on the way home. Yes, we did get a few looks our way :)

Overall, it was good to get out and soak up some sun while shopping. I made a few purchases which is an added bonus when you don't plan on shopping! But, I needed those items so it feels good to be able to cross them off the list.

After going through the market, we returned home. I had lunch at her house again. Her father cooked this time. He is a good cook! He made Pasta Siciliana, pasta with tomatoes and eggplant. Then for the second course we had sausage, zucchini, carrots, and peppers. And about 6 hours later they made me a sandwich with cheese, ham and zucchini.

I left their house tired, stuffed and full of bags. I had my purchases plus my doggie bag and a purse Imma gave me. Now, I am exhausted. I forgot to mention that I had also gotten up early today to go running. The allergies were awful but I was still able to run a few laps. Well I will write more soon! The holiday weekend isn't over yet! :)

Food: Bring It On!

I have been slacking but for the majority of April, the weather has been very gloomy, rainy and depressing. I even got into a slump. But now as we near the end of the month I am gaining momentum for the coming month. I hope that May will be sunny and warm every day!

In the mean time, the food part of my life has not stopped. I don't think it would ever stop while living in Italy. Two weeks ago, I went to Ipolita's aunt's house for Sunday lunch. The pictures are of the meal:

Antipasti

First course: Minestra: Soup with vegetables and meat-traditional for holidays

Second Course: Lasagna

Third course: Chicken

Third course: salad

Third course: potatoes

Third course: Artichokes

Fourth course: Snack mix

Fruit

Dessert: Colomba (Traditional Easter bread/cake)

This past weekend, I spent the majority of my time with my student, Imma. I ate lunch at her house on Friday. The pictures are below. But, when I was there, her mother told me that I was coming to their house on Sunday for lunch. It took 5 seconds and the plans had already been made. I had even communicated to her that I don't like fish. :)

Pasta with fresh tomatoes of Sorrento

Tuna and tomatoes on bread

Tuna, tomatoes, and corn on bread

Baked fish and baked cheese with ham 

Saturday, I went with Imma and her friends out dancing! It was my first time since living in Italy that I had been to a "disco." There were about 8 of us. I had a great time. As soon as I walked in I started dancing and didn't stop dancing until I got into the car to go home.

No explanation needed. 

Sunday, I went to Imma's house for lunch as planned. Her family was very hospitable and enjoyed learning about me and my life back in America. They fed me very well, pictures are below. They even opened a bottle of grappa that resulted in me taking 3 shots with her parents. Apparently, I like grappa :) Her family is very liberal, outgoing, free spirited and modern. The entire family does salsa! They had a salsa session after lunch. What a great way to work off that Sunday lunch, right! Overall, I had a wonderful day at Imma's house and they even invited me to come back!

Pasta with mushrooms, peppers, sausage, cheese and a cream sauce

Potato and ham bake

2nd course: potato and ham bake, peppers, sausage and potatoes

Dessert: Caprese, sfogliatella, baba, and ricotta e coconut cake

chocolate cake

chocolate

 the dessert and liqueur

More dessert, which was eaten hours after lunch :) 

Overall, I had a great weekend! Thanks Imma!

a dream becoming a reality

Yes, I am living my dream every day, but a few days ago, I realized something new. My Italian is improving. It is a wonderful thing but at the same time I am feeling bittersweet about it. I feel as if the fantasy and exoticness of the Italian language is disappearing. Before, I couldn't understand so I just enjoyed listening to the melody and the rhythm of the language. Now, I am able to understand and make words out of the melody and rhythms. I guess I am growing. I still enjoy listening to the language but now I am part of it. I feel as if it now belongs to me. Before, I was always reaching and searching to find it and understand it. Now, I have moved to a new stage. I am no longer reaching or searching, I have it in my hands and all I have to do is to continue to hold on to it.

Buona Pasqua

This Easter I spent in Sicily with relatives. It was my first time in Sicily during Easter! It was a great visit.

I arrived on Holy Thursday. It was sunny and warm! Perfect weather! I arrived early in the morning just in time for breakfast. They had pastries waiting for me. I got to chose between cream filled or ricotta filled. Of course I wanted to try both so I had half of each. They were both delicious but the ricotta filled was exquisite! As I was eating it, I was thinking of all my Italian family in America and how they would love to be eating what I was eating at that moment!

Ricotta is on the left, cream is on the right

After breakfast, I went for a walk with one of my relatives to go shopping. She had run a few errands and after eating those pastries I needed a walk! After the walk, we prepared lunch. I wasn't hungry yet I enjoyed everything on my plate! After lunch, I was falling asleep. The night before I spent packing and doing other odds and ends around the house that I didn't go to sleep until 1:30am. And, I woke up at 5:30 am. I told my relatives this and to excuse my sleepiness. They insisted I take a nap and I did, a good 3 hour nap! :) I woke up just in time for dinner! :)

Broccoli and Cheese 

Tomato and Mozzarella

Broccoli and Cheese

After dinner, we went out. But, we didn't go out out, instead we went to 6 churches! Yes, I know! I think it was a record for me, the most churches visited in one night! It wasn't actual mass, instead it was to see how the church was decorated for Holy Thursday, the Last Supper. In Naples they do the same thing because my boss was telling me about it. The day before the children during school go to the church and bring what looks like grass to the front of the church. Well, I found out they do the same thing in Sicily and it is custom to go to many churches to view all the different displays.

First Church

First church

2nd Church

2nd church

Third church

Fourth church

Fifth church

On Good Friday, we ate. Well, everyday we ate! I think I helped run some errands and helped in the kitchen, can't remember exactly. In the afternoon, we went to visit some family in a nearby town. The person we originally intended on meeting wasn't home so instead we went to the beach since it was such a beautiful day! After the beach, we decided to visit some relatives I tried visiting in September but weren't home during that visit. They happened to be home this time so we visited them. It was a nice visit. I even put my mom on Skype so she could speak to them. Again, technology is such a beautiful thing! :) Afterwards, we visited another family before arriving home in time for dinner! :) In the evening  or during the day, I'm not sure which, there is a procession. I heard about it but we didn't go. It is another Easter tradition in Italy.

Saturday morning, we went grocery shopping to stock up since stores would be closed on Easter Sunday and Monday. Afterwards, they prepared food! Everyday was spent in the kitchen! They kept saying, all your friends and family in America are going to think all we do is eat! Well it is true :) That evening, we had friends over and ate Sicilian pizza "Sfincione." We had a good evening.

The sun disappeared 

Easter pastries

Sfincione

sfincione

no explanation needed :)

Apple Torte

Easter morning we went to Easter mass. The church was decorated nicely with some flowers but overall, it wasn't overly decorated as in America. The mass was simple, only a priest, no alter servers, and no musicians. It was much different than in America but I liked the simplicity of it. After mass, we returned home and got ready for Easter lunch. We ate a lot and decided not to eat dinner. :)

Lasagna

Meat in the shape of Sicily!

Easter cake

Homemade Sicilan Cassata

Pasquetta, Easter Monday, was spent at another relative's house. It was her son's 9th birthday. We went there for lunch and stayed until the evening. Pasquetta, generally is spent outside in the campagna with friends and family for a picnic/bbq. We had a similar version but inside with insalata di riso and grilled sausage. We ate and then hung out. Oh and ate pizza for dinner :)

AHH SUN! I love thee!

Insalata di Riso

Salad-fennel, tomatoes, and lettuce

Sicilian Sausage

Rice krispie cake

Toy Story themed Birthday Party

It was the first time besides the day prior that I had really spent much time with this particular relative and her family. It was also the first time that I could have a real conversation in Italian with anyone as well. Prior, I only knew some Italian. But, now after spending 6 months in Italy, my Italian had improved. It was the real first test since I speak English most of the time at home. In Sicily, I am forced to speak Italian since they can't speak English. I was proud of myself because I left my Italian/English dictionary at home on purpose. I had my computer so we could translate words if needed but it wasn't necessary. My relatives were impressed with my improvement as well. They kept telling friends and other relatives that we were speaking without the dictionary or computer. :) It was a nice feeling. I can't speak Italian fluently or grammatically correct but people were able to understand me and that is what counts! But, I was able to bond with this particular relative and her husband. I was told today that they enjoyed my company yesterday and were glad to get to know me. :)

I was also impressed with my Italian as I used it today in a non-relative setting. This morning before I left for home, I went to the "comune" (city hall) to find more information in regards to my family history. I love genealogy and since this whole experience is about me finding my roots, I thought it was only necessary. I spoke in my wonderful Italian with the most patient woman at the comune. I told her everything I needed and I was able to understand everything she said. I found out a lot of useful information and new information in regards to my family. It was such an exciting experience! I left the comune very happy and to top it off, the sun was shining bright! We passed by the beach again and I had to stop and take pictures because it was just so beautiful!

Overall, I was fully impressed with my Italian. It is still awful but I was able to understand even more and communicate at a level where I could have a conversation with someone. I had deep conversations too! It was a good experience for me! I am excited to go back and be able to speak even better!